Wednesday 9 August 2017

Satirists Protest Politicians' comedic genius

No Joke
London’s police were overwhelmed yesterday by the biggest demonstration the capital has seen in decades as the NUSSaGPT (National Union of satirists, spoofers and General Piss Takers) protested against their loss of livelihood in the present political climate for what a spokesman said “It is high time politicians went back to their jobs and left the comedy to us!”
Charlie Brooker who had flown in especially for the march from silicon valley, home of Netflix, addressed a rally in Trafalgar square. He smugly reminded the crowd, on three separate occasions, that he had preempted Prime Minister David Cameron’s ‘Cock in pig’ episode but lamented that for lesser satirists “Times are lean” going on to groan that “Things have got so dire, I’ve had to go and take the piss out of Americans for a living”.
A packet of Hobnobs, yesterday
Frankie Boyle and Johnny Vegas delivered the petition to 10 Downing street which was brusquely accepted by Prime Minister Teresa May. Fortunately, foreign secretary, Boris Johnson was on hand and popped his head out to offer tea and hobnobs. Boyle told him to fuck off but he and Vegas agreed to split the Hobnobs.
Erudite chairman, Armando Ianucci in an interview with our own roving reporter opined, “We satirists endeavour to eek out a living in a political environment so burgeoning with comedic genius like Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg that we don’t stand a chance. We all thought things would die down after Cameron but they are going from strength to strength, even Jeremy Corbyn, an eccentric chemistry teacher from Chippenham is playing the straight man. Enough is enough!” He went on to say that after ‘The thick of it’ was cancelled he too had to cross the Atlantic for work adding, “Even Stewart Lee was reduced to doing material about going to Tescos Extra for a Twix.”
Ian Hislop and Paul Merton were unavailable for comment but insiders tell us that the next ten episodes of ‘Have I Got News For You’ have been filmed already with a string of back-benchers and that German bloke who can’t speak English.
The metropolitan police chief said the demonstration went unhindered by comedic incident adding that his police dog had no nose.

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