Optimism is the new dogma. You can’t turn these days without some cheesy-grinned motivator telling us all to turn that frown upside-down and look at the positives.
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| Keep calm and suck it up! |
Pessimists,
we are told, die young and lead less fulfilling lives. All your clouds must
have silver linings and you glass must be half-full. If we are to believe some
of the gurus, an optimistic outlook even brings success. They tell us that optimism makes us better leaders, cures cancer and makes us sexier. Rhonda Byrne,
in her book The Secret tells us that
just believing and wishing for good things will cause the whole Universe to
realign toward their manifestation. And God help you if you don’t. Let me tell
you now, ladies and gentlemen, optimism is bullshit.
Twitshot
A while ago, I watched a documentary in which a soldier was
asked about his experiences during a 9-month hostage situation (I have spent ages
trying to find it again but as yet nothing). The one comment that stuck in my
mind was that it was always the optimists that broke first. They were always the first ones to look for a rope and a chair. This confused me,
after all, everyone knows that looking on the bright side is the only way to be.
Well, I’ve been thinking about that comment for some time and realised that it
makes perfect sense.
Optimism is exhausting, you begin each day in the belief
that everything is going to be hunky dory and it invariably isn't. Someone is always
throwing banana peels at your feet and you are bound to come up against someone
whose idea of things going well is things going wrong for you. Think about it,
you want a pay-raise so you go into your boss and ask for more money. Now, his
idea of a good day is to address flagging profits which is eating into his
bonus or margins. Who is going to have a great day?
So what are we to do, give up? No! Well yes. I propose a new
approach and I call it Constructive Pessimism.
Under the rules of Constructive Pessimism you are not to assume that your day
will have any success, you will assume that, as Murphy’s law so wisely states,
what can go wrong, will go wrong. Now, I can already hear
you jeering and you have every right to do so but hear me out.
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| Spot the optimist |
Begin your day with a list and start with the weather, are
there any clouds? It’s going to rain, take an umbrella or rain-mac. How do you
get to work? Bus, car, train? There will be delays, leave early. You are
already prepared. Optimists will tell you that each mishap is a lesson;
bollocks! Having a raincoat is a lesson learned, being on time and keeping your
job is a lesson learned.
Optimistic spin on disaster is sign of a slow learner.
You have a big business meeting, the board will hate your
proposals. What will they hate? How can you counter their objections and what
will you do when they turn you down flat.
You have to budget a project. What will it cost? Wrong! It will
cost much more. Sell it to the optimists at the lower amount but keep some
aside for the hitches.
Optimists may help you but pessimism will save you.
Experts tell us that pessimists suffer with stress that
leads to neurosis and heart problems. They tell us that optimists take risks
and succeed more. Well, I’ll tell you that the belief that every silver lining
has a cloud will mean that you always have a brolly and a glass half-empty will
lead you to a tap for a refill. Constructive
Pessimism will keep adrenaline levels high making you more aware and ready
to deal with life’s slings and arrows.
At the end of an optimistic day you will count the lessons
learned and resign yourself to the good of the big picture. At the end of a
pessimistic day you will be able to lock your door and count the things that didn't go tits-up, not to mention being glad you had that brolly with you.
Optimism sucks the life out of you, believing in the good
nature of the universe is like willing your stocks to stop falling. The Universe
does not know who you are and definitely has no great plans for you.
Coming to terms with that may make
you feel insignificant but it will put you back in the game.
